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What If Someone Told You THIS When You Were 16?

July 23, 2020

Ben is 16. He is known for his music production and performance skills. He has a giant social media following and has the attention of multiple record labels at the moment. He is truly a genius and will very likely be someone that everyone knows about at some point in the near future. He also works two jobs to help support his mom. He spends hours on his music every night after work. He is likely on the spectrum for autism, Asperger's, and he is working through that diagnosis- separate from coaching. 

He wants to work with me because he wants to make changes in his self-concept that would allow for freedom from the constraints of other people’s opinions and reactions to him. He feels awkward and out of touch in most relationships. 

 

We spoke for 70 minutes. This was our first meeting. 

 

Here are the summary notes from our call. He created this new mindset with me as his guide. 

_____

 

BEN:

Great meeting today. Thank you for being so open and bringing all your energy to the conversations--and for trusting me. SO MUCH FUN. Here are your notes!

If you want to HAVE the life you want, you have to move past the "what do I do, say, try? what's my strategy? what will they think? will they approve of me/think I'm cool?" thing and PUT ALL YOUR FOCUS ON:

 

Who am I being? Who am I REALLY? What does the most real, truest, most basic baby Ben know is authentic right now? and now? and now? It will be a moment to moment thing. You'll need to focus on being present. 

 

::::::::::REAL YOU::::::::::

BOLD

CREATIVE

UNAPOLOGETIC

PURE

PASSIONATE

LOVING

LOYAL

CAREFREE

COURAGEOUS

A BOUNDARY SETTER/HONORER

RESILIENT

UNTOUCHABLE

IN CONTROL

YES! I AM YELLING THESE!!!!

HUMBLE

VULNERABLE

PROUD/UNASHAMED 

DEDICATED

FULLY SELF-EXPRESSED

HARD-WORKING AF

SMART, no...GENIUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

FEARLESS BEN is the REAL BEN. BIG-BALLS BEN? uhhhh 

 

You have to PRACTICE this. It's not magic. Channel Ye. Channel the 1000 Gecks people.

 

You say who you are, what you're about, what you will and won't tolerate in your life. 

 

You can be nice to Baffled (totally bewildered or perplexed) Ben. He's a good dude, but he's not going to be in the driver's seat anymore. He can be in the backseat or the trunk, depending on how whiny he gets!!! haha

Look out for these signs that he is in charge without your permission:

dissatisfaction

frustration

hopelessness

over-analysis

judgment

fear

desperation

scrambly behaviors

down/depressed feelings

self-doubt

strategy-driven

confused

insecure

unstable

pulling back

avoiding

contorting to please others

 

WHY ARE YOU GOING TO GO TO ALL THIS MENTAL TROUBLE???

 

Because, BEN....You want to be peaceful, content with who you are (ACTUAL YOU), to never sell-out, to have a different life, full freedom- all the kinds- time, money, expression. 

 

Social norms, expectations, rules, and any type of oppression will never ever be things that you tolerate and you'll teach others the same through your platform. 

 

You want to be a stand in the world. You stand for authenticity, being all-in on who we are and not worrying about what we are not. The world needs you. I promise I'm right about this. 

 

You are a gift to your family, your friends, your followers, even your haters, your peers, your colleagues, your business partners. Anyone who gets to be near you in any way is the luckiest person in the world.

 

That is all for now, my dude.

 

ALWAYS here for you.


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